Passion and Beliefs

I've been reading Blue Like Jazz lately here at the Dugall house. Miller has some great thoughts about the Christian life and uses story in an incredible way to drive his points home.

So far I think I like his chapter entitled "Belief" the best. "Passion" might have been a better title for it though as it is so much about that. Passion, do I live with it?... and if I do, where does it take me? "Living for something extends beyond fashion, glory, or recongnition. We live for what we believe..."

If that is the case, then what do I really believe? Do I live like Jesus is the most important thing in my life? I think realistically, my life shows that I am the most important thing around. That my happiness, the happiness of those around me, and probably mostly my pride-filled pursuit of glory is what I live for. My life speaks volumes in books that I would prefer not to read. Speaks about deeds that shouldn't have been done and thoughts that should've never crossed my mind... but they have.

But I journey on, a broken man, a man filled with desires that hopefully are from God. My prayer is that God will mold me, that whatever I have done in pride or arrogance will be turned around for His glory and that as I walk through this life that I can look back at my life in the end, see how I have lived, and smile on the beliefs that have been made clear to me.

I know God is in the process of showing my this and for that I am glad! Merry Christmas Eve!

"For unto you a child is born..." I pray this year that we can all not just learn from this child, but also live like this child.

Blue Like Christmas

I’ve been reading “Blue like Jazz” a lot on this week before Christmas and in tandem thinking about my place in the larger story; even my place in our American culture.

Maybe it’s the ‘Holiday Season’ that gets me. The time of the year where most everyone says goodbye with a “Happy Holidays” attached. When I hear that I want to ask people, “what holiday do you celebrate?” just to hear them say, “Christmas.” We all want to be so 'politically correct' but really end up just being wimpy in how we interact with our materialistic culture. I still love these people, too often I’m one of them, so no real “bah-humbugs” here, I just wish they would either wish me a Merry CHRISTmas or just say that they don’t celebrate Christmas because they don’t believe in Christ. Or even better yet, if they would just say “merry Christmas… but I don’t believe in God and I’m just in it for the presents.” I’d be rather happy to hear their honesty yet sad to see that heart. But that seems to be the heart of our materialistic society. Why is it so hard to just pick a side? If I really think about it, it’s not the non-believers that bug me but the believers, or pseudo believers as it may well be, that send me off with a nonchalant “Happy Holidays”. Show your colors for heavens sake. It’s black or white, you’re for or you're against.

In the fashion world of late, grey is the ‘new’ black… I find that very interesting in this season especially because that fashion tip permeates through to the heart of our society. Grey is the new black in our culture. Nobody wants things to be black or white, we want a grey area. Stealing is black, “I don’t steal, I’m a good person, I follow the rules.” But downloading music online from another computer without having to pay for it… well, that’s not black… it’s grey… well, it’s ok… right? Is it?... Just give me a “happy holidays” stuff your conscious in your pocket and go download me the whole new U2 album off of Kazza for Christmas… Wrap it in grey paper for me ok? I mean why not, it’s just about the presents anyway… right? You see what I mean? I’m tempted in this and so many more grey areas, but I don’t think God sees them as grey so what do I do? Man that music one is really hard for me and I could easily rationalize it away but I've got to start somewhere right? I've got to start with myself, not because I want to look more Christian, or be more "spiritual" but because I want to live out the heart of Christ. Really be his disciple, really follow his ways. I so desperately want that in my life even though I so often fight it.

Just rambling really. I guess it is just the non offensive way of the American culture that gets me. The wimpy non-decisive lazy way that we as Americans call being P.C. I’m part of it I know, I even remember a couple “happy holidays” that I threw out to staff at my school. But that doesn’t make it right, and for me, just makes me dislike the phrase all the more.

So, I’m off to eat more chocolate, lay on the couch, read some more “Blue like Jazz”, and ponder more existential questions about the meaning of life and how little ole’ me can be more a part of the solution than I am part of the problem; it will be a life-long quest I know, but I’m in it for the long haul.

<>For your present... here are some good quotes from “Blue like Jazz”

…In talking about politics, protest and how we affect the world as Americans…

“The problem is not a certain type of legislations or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been. I am the problem.”

“I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest. “

The thing I realized on the day we protested… was the it did me no good to protest Americas responsibility in global poverty when I wasn’t even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry. I started feeling very much like a hypocrite.” “I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual.” (Miller, 2003 p20)

Oh, and BTW... Merry Christmas!

It's a Wonderful Life: By bunnies?

I have to thank Robin Dugall for making me pee my pants with this one. Only funny if you've see "It's a Wonderful Life".... Funny stuff. Check it out.

It's a Wonderful Life: re-enacted in 30 seconds by bunnies

Thanks ROB!!!

How convicting a video

I know a lot of you have seen this before but MAN!!! How convicting is this. Makes me want to have everyone just give me cash to send to charities! Go Sarah! At the same time it makes me a bit sad for the country that we live in and how much money we spend on things that make such a realtively small impact on us and could make such a large impact on others.

I so want to be content with what I have. I so want others to be content about what they have. I soooo want our christian brothers and sisters all around the world to know that we are praying, fighting, and longing to help them.

How about we make Starbucks go out of business by not buying our super grande, calorie laden, extra dry, super deluxe, triple shot, 4-dollar-a-pop Carmel Macciato (how do you spell that anyway?) every other day and instead pocket that money and send it to our starving brothers and sisters in Christ around the globe!

I know I have a lot of growth in the area, but man... If one pop artist can make such a profound impact and statement what can we as the american Christian culture at large do?

..... Lets have the faith to move mountians.

World on Fire Video
Good article on the cost of the video

I'm a responsible Dad!...???

So this last Thursday I got to take off work and be "Mr. Mom" because Tiffany got selected for jury duty. I thought it would be fun, I thought I would show myself to the world as the responsible Dad that I am... I thought wrong.

It at least could haved taken more than 3 minutes for some thing to go wrong, maybe it did, maybe it was 4 minutes. Tiffany had left, just a few minutes prior, and I'm minding my own business. As a responsible Dad I am getting the girls down from breakfast and playing with them downstairs. I'm trying to keep them downstairs because Anna has been wandering around all morning touching things that she shouldn't like lotions, trash, the phone, and more and then saying, "no touch". I'm trying to tell her that that is not how it works... Anyway, 7:42AM... Knock, knock, knock at my door. 'Who's at my door this early in the morning?' I wonder.

I look out side and all I see is this police officer standing backup with his hand on his gun behind this little wall outside our apartment. His partner is knocking at my door. I thought, 'is there a dagerous criminal escaped in our complex?' I opened the door and the officer looks briefly at me and then all around behind me says, "is everything ok?" I said yes and asked why. He said, "did anyone call 911?" I said, "No, come on it if you want." He comes in, looks down at Anna, who by this time is standing very still and looking rather concerned and says, "did she?" My eyes rolled into my head as a I gave one of those ahhhhhhh.... despairing yet now informed sighs. I explained that yes she had been playing with the phone upstairs a few minutes earlier. To try to lighten things up, I said, "Pretty good response time, she just did that a few minutes ago probably." The officer, finally looking me square in the face, says, "Well, it was FOUR 911 calls and hang ups sir." I once again sighed the "yes, I'm a bad Dad." sigh and nodded my head.

So, I guess Anna is gonna have the prank calling gift... Is that from the Holy Spirit? Maybe it's just in there with perseverance. At least I know that she knows the right number... now I can go and fire Lassie.

Playin' With Fire Site ramping up

I'm almost done with my graduate level course work for this Masters of Science degree!!! Yippee! My last project of my last class of my (hopefully) last degree will be done tonight! Cel--AA--Brate Good times come on..... let be celabratin'...

Anyway, now that I will have some more time, I'm looking forward to getting this new ministry tool up and running. If any one wants to look at the flash intro I've posted it on my consulting website at www.i-netconsulting.net/pwf/ .

Well off to finish my presentation! yippee!!!

Being real the 'new' fake?

I guess I'm tired if I'm really honest, tired of this life getting people down, maybe even frustrated that where others are often takes me down to a bit with them. Why is that? I've been pretty encouraged lately but maybe that has just been a push by me to be overly encouraging to help the people that are hurting around me... I don't think so, but maybe.

Seems like everything in this world has a 'new something' McDonalds medium fries is basically their new small, a tall coffee is the 'new' short, black the 'new' red and probably red the 'new' black...

Is being real the 'new' fake? I feel like everwhere I look, well not really everywhere but better for dramatic effect, people are trying to be 'real'. What is that anyway? It seems to me that being real to a lot of people is just a cover for the real issues? Maybe I should be looking at myself and not others of late, but that is just where I am... ya know, being real. Should I cover up my feeling so not to offend people? Ya I have my ups and downs and yes, life can get down right hard even if God offers us a ton of simple truths. I shouldn't bottle up everything should I?

All these people that I have been reading about lately just seem like they 'get it'! I truely want that but it so eludes me... I often get it but then poof... A week like this when life throws everything it has at you and then you hit the wall. .... Wait... news flash****

"Silent all these years" from Tori Amos "little earthquakes" just came on the radio at the place I'm writting from, I'll have to look at those lyrics.
"Years go by and I still be waiting for someone to understand, dropped all my tears till there is nothing left... some times I hear my voice and it's been.... silent all these years.

I like God's sense of humor, you know your all about to go off on a topic and then he plays a simple song on the radio with deep lyrics and it just speaks to you.... funny, anyway...

Why does this resonate so much with everyone? Why with me even? Do we just enjoy life when it gets tough? Are people just looking at others that are in their same discontented state to be 'real' with?

Now don't judge me too much because I've been there, yup down in the dumps, no light at the end of the tunnel, just swimmin' to stay afloat. So don't think that I just want everyone to put on a happy face and just fake it. I used to really have a hard time with people that seemed like they just were so happy but had never experience hardship in their lives. I don't want to be trite, I don't want to come off as just pull yourselves up by your bootstraps and put on a happy face to people I meet... I just desperately want it to be true! I want to see the joy filled lives in the people around me. I want to see that in my own life beyond everything. I guess this post is more about what is going on with me than with the people around me. Maybe more about why people that are being 'real' scare me. Maybe I'm the one that tries so hard to help people out of their holes that I end up pretending that I'm just fine.

I guess everyone is trying to be 'real' in their own way. My question is, how does Jesus want us to be with each other? Share stuggles to what extent? Be 'real' to what extent? Just my messing thoughts. Don't worry, I'll never really 'get it' I'm just along for the ride. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. Don't be too offended... it's not really you... It's probably just me... I'll try to be more real:)

I want to be a super hero

Yup you heard me... I'd like to be a super hero. Fly or at least jump really high, be able to change my cloths really quickly in phone booths... well, faster ever. Most of all I could help people out from the evil clutches of Dr. whoeverhisnameisthatisarealevilmeanyhead. I wouldn't get much sleep though, always galavanting around saving people and what if I needed to save someone when I was teaching... Maybe I'd have to find a super hero subsitute. When I got the Schreib signal then I would put up the Super Sub signal so that I could leave my class in capable hands... wait that might take too long, and the Super Sub might just cut me out of the loop and just go do the saving by himself...

Well I guess it is just not meant to be but it would be a great way to help out all the people that I love. Maybe I'll just pray for them instead... God's better than any super hero anyway.